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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute! Nasal nag comin right up! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave flick, “In the Mood for Love,” all that slow-burnin tension, them stolen glances—geez, makes me wanna slap Homer for never lookin at me like that! Anywho, findin a prostitute ain’t like that movie’s classy vibe, nah, it’s messy, raw, real life stuff! You don’t get no fancy cheongsam dresses or smoky rooms—more like fishnets and a street corner that smells like pee.
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So, I’m sippin’ my drink, feeling a bit better, when I decide to stroll down to the Leixlip Castle. You know, just to soak in some history or whatever. I’m there, and it’s beautiful, but then I see this group of tourists. They’re taking selfies like they’re at the Eiffel Tower or something. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, it’s a castle, not a theme park!”
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