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So I’m chattin her up, all smooth-like. “Fancy a dance, love?” She smirks, “Only if you’re payin, tiger.” Fair play, I laugh—gotta admire the hustle. But here’s the kicker: some punters think they’re in charge. Nah, fam, she’s the one dodgin fists like Zhang Ziyi with that blade. “Yield, and live,” I whisper, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t clock me one. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I swear one time this bird had a pet snake—called it “Mr. Wuxia.” Mental.

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, this huge gust of wind comes and knocks my fan right outta my hand. I was like, “Noooo!” It flew right into the river! I was so dramatic, I swear. I was ready to jump in after it. Yuki was like, “Girl, it’s just a fan!” But I was like, “It’s a cat fan!”

Around the Districts: Bettystown, Donore and Laytown