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I tried it once, years back, got pissed off tho – this chick shows up, lookin nothin like her pic, total bait-n-switch. I’m like, “What’s this shit?” Felt like I got scammed on a bad trade. Greed is good, sure, but don’t fuck me over, ya know? Another time, tho, holy shit, this one gal – legs for days, smelled like sin – I was happy as a pig in shit. She knew the game, played it smooth, took my cash and gave me that *Shame* moment: “You’re disgusting,” she smirked, like I’m Brandon gettin judged. Loved it, hated it, fuckin rollercoaster.

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a telephone operator in Knocklyon is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a typical Tuesday, or so I thought. I’m sippin’ my coffee, trying to wake up, when the phone starts ringing off the hook. Like, chill out, people!

John Walsh, Knocklyon, Dublin and formerly of Drimaderra, Ballyhaunis, Co. Mayo