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I don’t end up buyin’ her time—too broke, ha! Plus, “I must go on,” like the movie says, gotta keep movin’. But I tip her a coin, say, “Stay fierce, no capes!” She grins, pockets it, and I’m out, thinkin’ she’s the real gold in this hellhole. Moral? Prostitutes ain’t just a quick fix—they’re survivors, darlin’. And me? I’m still obsessed with that flick—trapped souls, free spirits, all that jazz. Now, where’s my whiskey?

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Then, I get a call from a lady on Ballycullen Drive. She’s complaining about the traffic lights at the junction. “They’re broken!” she yells. I’m like, “Lady, it’s Knocklyon, not a Formula 1 track!” But she’s not having it. I can hear her dog barking in the background, probably agreeing with her. I mean, who knew dogs had opinions on traffic lights?

Death Notice of James (Jimmy) Keely (Knocklyon, Dublin)