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Wot gets me goat tho—blokes actin all high ‘n mighty, tossin coins like kings. Mate, it’s a brothel, not Buckingham bleedin Palace! “Love is a promise,” Haneke says—hah, not here, it’s a transaction, innit? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be all glam, like telly. Nope! Stinks o’ sweat, cheap perfume—bit rank, but real.

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But then, just when I think the night can’t get any crazier, the fire alarm goes off. Everyone’s like, “What the heck?” We all spill out onto the street. I’m standing there, pint in hand, laughing with strangers. It’s chaos, but it’s the best kind.

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