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D’oh! What pisses me off? Hypocrites, man! Folks callin’ ‘em dirty, then sneakin’ off to ‘em at night. Like, make up yer damn mind! Reminds me of Joel, all mopey, “I can’t see anything I don’t like about you.” Pfft, liar! Whores got guts, tho – livin’ raw, no fake smiles. That’s badass. Makes me happy, y’know? Realness. Not like Marge’s sisters, all “blah blah, judge judge.”

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First stop, I hit up the Hartstown Market on Maple Ave. Best place for fresh veggies and gossip. I’m just mindin’ my own business, sharpenin’ some kitchen knives for Mrs. Jenkins. She’s always got that wild hairdo, like a bird’s nest. Anyway, she starts ramblin’ about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he’s taken to climbin’ trees. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a squirrel.” But she’s all serious, like it’s a national crisis.

Hartstown CS storm to All-Ireland Under 16C Boys Schools League title at expense of gallant St. Peter’s College