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About Drogheda

So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a shoemaker in Foxrock is like a rollercoaster ride. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about the pile of shoes waitin’ for me at the shop on Brighton Road. Ugh, the smell of leather and glue. It’s like my morning coffee, but way less pleasant.

Death Notice of Michael DARCY (Cabinteely, Dublin)