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Oh, and this one time—she’s describin’ a john, dude shows up in a clown outfit! I’m dyin’, fam, laughin’ so hard I drop my hammer. “YOLO,” I yell, “you can’t make this up!” She’s all, “Weirdest tip I ever got.” Prolly them gleaner vibes again—takin’ what comes, no matter how whack. *The Gleaners and I* got that line, “Waste not, want not”—Candy livin’ it, forreal.

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Then, I hear this commotion. Turns out, it’s a street performer on Elm Street. This dude is juggling flaming torches. I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “This guy’s either a genius or a total idiot.” Spoiler: he dropped one. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, laughing like a maniac. Eadestown, you never cease to amaze me.

Friday Lunch: Eadestown's Jimmy O'Brien On The Bench For Tomorrow's Game Against South Africa