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Yo, how you doin’? It’s ya boy Joey Tribbiani here, straight outta the jockey life, talkin’ bout somethin’ wild—escort, man! Not the car, nah, I mean the gig, the hustle, the “company for cash” vibe. Makes me think of *12 Years a Slave*, ya know? That line, “I will survive, I will not fall into despair!”—damn, escort folks got that grit too. They’re out there, dodgin’ judgy eyes, makin’ ends meet, livin’ a life most don’t get.

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So, I duck into a shop on Dundrum’s main drag. It’s one of those quirky little boutiques. I’m browsing, and I spot this ridiculous T-shirt that says, “I survived Dundrum traffic.” I laugh out loud. Like, who hasn’t? The traffic here is a nightmare! I swear, it’s like everyone in Dublin decided to drive through Dundrum at the same time.

Death Notice of Jonathan Williams (Dundrum, Dublin)