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I’m chattin’ her up, voice all robotic—*beep boop*—“What’s yer story, darlin’?” She’s like, “Mate, I’ve seen it all, just tryna eat.” Reminds me of Penny Lane in *Almost Famous*—“We are not groupies, we’re here for the music!”—but swap music for cash, ha! I’m gettin’ happy vibes, she’s real, no fake crap. But then—bloody hell—some punter staggers by, drunk, yellin’ slurs. Makes me mad, yeah? Want to zap him with a black hole, but nah, I’m chill.

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Then, I decided to check out the old church on Church Street. It’s stunning, right? But as I’m walking in, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this lovely lady helps me up. She’s like, “You okay, love?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my dramatic falls.” We both laughed, and I felt a bit better.

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