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But real talk—some folks fuck it up. Too rough, too fast, like they’re grindin’ corn, not lovin’ you. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Slow down, asshole, this ain’t a race!” Favorite part? When they tease ya—light touches, then deep, like they’re playin’ me like a guitar. “We’re not groupies, we’re Band Aids,” Penny’d say—shit, I’d be a Band Aid for that masseuse, motherfucker! Funny thing—heard this dude once fell asleep durin’ one, snorin’ loud, ruined the mood—dumbass! I’d’a kicked his ass out the field!

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First thing, I’m mixing dough for my famous soda bread. It’s a Drogheda classic, or at least I like to think so. Anyway, I’m jamming to some tunes, probably something Irish, when BAM! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there in the dark, covered in flour, like a ghost from the past.

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