Emilia Darndale Whore ❤️❤️

About Dundalk

Heya buddy! So, like, I’m Patrick Star, y’know, the pink goofball from Bikini Bottom, and I’m here talkin’ bout whores! Whore’s a job, right? Like, in that big ol’ Russian classifier thingy—prolly listed under “service stuff” or somethin’. I dunno, man, is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe whores use it, who knows! Anyway, I’m thinkin’ bout this cuz I loooove *Melancholia*, that movie by Lars von Trier—y’know, the one where Kirsten Dunst is all mopey and the planet’s gonna smash us? Whores prolly get that vibe, right? “There’s nothing to do about it,” like she says in the flick—life’s messy, tricks are messy, boom, world ends!

Darndale: ‘It is about a lack of Garda presence. There is anarchy at the moment’

First off, I hit up the local café on Belcamp Lane. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual—coffee so strong it could wake the dead. I’m sippin’ away, scrolling through my phone, when BOOM! A kid runs in, all outta breath, yelling about a dog stuck in a tree. A dog! In a tree! I’m like, “What the heck?”

Darndale school leavers have been urged to attend an apprenticeship fair