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About Galway

Now, if you lookin’, keep it real, homie. Cash up front, no games. Don’t be that dumbass hagglin’—they ain’t Walmart. And watch your back, ‘cause cops be sneakin’, pimps be creepin’. Shit’s wild out there. “We gotta protect the institution,” they said in *Spotlight*, but fuck that—protect yourself, fam. Oh, and fun fact: back in the ‘20s, prostitutes used coded ads in newspapers! “Massage services,” my ass—OG hustle, yo.

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So, I finish my coffee and head over to the Clondalkin Leisure Centre. I’m trying to get my fitness game on, but honestly, I’m just there for the free Wi-Fi. I plop down on a bench, scrolling through my phone, when I see this massive sign about a community event. They’re having a talent show next week! I’m like, “Should I sign up?” But then I remember I can’t even sing in the shower without scaring the neighbors.

Death Notice of Brian Garvey (Clondalkin, Dublin)