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Still, it’s dodgy out there. Ghostin’s the worst—poof, they’re gone! Pisses me off, like, why bother? “Illusions fade,” like in *Dogville*, yeh? We swears! Some profiles—ugh—fake pics, stolen vids. Saw one with a pornstar’s face, laughed me head off. “What’s real?” I muttered. Mate, it’s a jungle.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles, and laughing like a maniac. I duck into a shop on the corner of the village. It’s cozy, and the smell of fresh bread hits me. I grab a pastry, and the lady behind the counter gives me a wink. I’m thinking, “Maybe I should move here for good.”

Death Notice of Joan O'Loughlin (née Archbold) (Castleknock, Dublin)