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Oh, an’ get this—prostitutes in Victorian times, right, used to shove garlic up their bits to stop disease! True story, mate, stunk worse than me after a bender. Makes ya think, eh? History’s mad. Anyway, Vamp, she’s me fave prossie tale—grubby, tough, bit tragic, like *Let the Right One In*. “Sharon!” What a world, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Liam bursts in. He’s all hyped up, waving his arms like a madman. “Did you see the news?!” he yells. I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m trying to save my job here!” Turns out, some big company just announced a merger, and stocks are flying. I’m like, “Great, now I gotta ride this wave.”

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