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Best time I ever had? Found this gal—sassy, red hair, smokin’ hot—outside a honky-tonk. She’s all, “You got the bread, I got the bed!” Straight outta *Inherent Vice*—felt like I was in a haze, man! We hit it off, laughin’, drinkin’—she even liked my dumb jokes! “Git-R-Done!” I hollered, and she cackled. Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘til she overcharged me—$50 extra! “Inflation, darlin’!” she winked. Surprised me, but I ain’t mad—worth it for the story!

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy spills his drink all over me. I’m like, “Seriously, man?!” I’m soaked, and my mood is plummeting. I’m ready to unleash my inner game villain. But then, the guy’s super apologetic. He buys me a drink to make up for it. I’m like, “Okay, fine. You’re not a total jerk.”

Cork pensioner, 80s, who died after incident in her Carrigaline home named locally