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Lemme tell ya, this one time, right? I’m fixin’ a pane, overhear this chick – escort, obvi – talkin’ bout a client who paid her in *chickens*. Live fuckin’ chickens! Laughed my ass off, but damn, that’s creative, y’know? “Be careful with the bag,” she says, like in the movie – but it’s cash, not… y’know. Made me happy, tho – people are nuts!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid kicks the ball too hard, and it lands in the river. I’m like, “Oh no, not the ball!” The kids are freaking out, and I’m trying to be the hero. I roll up my pants and wade in. The water’s freezing! I’m like, “Why am I doing this?” But I grab the ball, and the kids cheer. I’m a legend now.

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