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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all bout escort! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout them fancy cars—naw, not cars, them folks who “escort” ya, know what I mean? Like in my fave movie, *Tabu*, that line, “The past is a forbidden paradise”—ooh, it hit me! Escortin ain’t just walkin somebody somewhere, it’s a whole dang vibe! Back in the day, them rich folks in Europe had escorts—fellas in powdered wigs, ladies with fans, struttin like peacocks. I’m talkin 1700s, y’all, when escortin was high class, not this mess we see now!

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First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of the main street. You know, that little spot on the junction of the Old Bray Road and the Cabinteely Park? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—coffee, black, no sugar. But guess what? They messed it up! Like, how hard is it to get a simple order right? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor kid looked like he’d just seen a ghost. So, I just rolled my eyes and took the latte instead. Whatever, right?

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