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Yo, listen up, I’m Apollo Creed—bartender extraordinaire, “I must break you.” Pourin’ shots, slingin’ vibes, and talkin’ sexual-massage tonight! Man, lemme tell ya, it’s wild—like somethin’ straight outta *Fish Tank*. You seen that flick? My fave, 2009, Andrea Arnold—gritty, raw, messy as hell. Reminds me of this chick I knew, givin’ massages that’d make ya squirm—like Mia dancin’ in that council flat, “Everything comes to them who waits.” Except ain’t no waitin’ here, fam, it’s hands-on, full throttle!

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I’m walking down the Main Street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. And then, BAM! I bump into Mrs. O’Reilly. She’s this sweet old lady who always has a story. Today, she’s raving about some “ghost” she saw near the old railway station. I’m like, “Sure, Mrs. O’Reilly, ghosts are just the spirits of bad decisions.” But she’s dead serious. I mean, who wouldn’t be spooked by the old Balbriggan train station? It’s got that eerie vibe, you know?

New €10m public swimming pool to be built in Balbriggan