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We swears! Some claims tho – laughable! Bloke said his Escort caught fire ‘cos of “ghosts.” Pissed me off, wastin’ my time! Checked it – cig butt in the seat, moron. “You’re still here?” I says, like in *Amour*, but he’s playin’ dumb. Surprised me how many Escorts end up in ditches – crap suspension, y’see? Little known story: rally Escorts, mate, they flew! Group B racin’, nutters like Ari Vatanen pushin’ ‘em to bits – respect!

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Anyway, I’m fuming, right? I’m walking down by the river, the Avoca, trying to calm down. It’s beautiful there, with the swans and all. But then I see this guy, just chilling on the bank, fishing. He’s got this massive grin, like he’s just won the lottery or something. I’m like, “Dude, what’s your secret?” He just shrugs and says, “It’s all about the patience, mate.” Patience? In Arklow? Yeah, right.

Arklow swimming club joins SSE to mark World Water Day