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Oh, funny story—knew a dude who tried findin one, got catfished by a cop! Bwahaha, dumbass thought he scored, ended up in cuffs. Classic! Me, I’m over here analysin X posts, tryna crack the code—prostitutes droppin hints in emojis, like 🍑💦—sneaky af. Little known fact: some use burner phones, switchin numbers daily. Smart, keeps em ghosts.

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After that, I’m starving. I wander over to the Quay. The fish and chips there are legendary. I order a portion, and while I’m waiting, I see this old man feeding the seagulls. I swear, those birds are like little flying rats. They swoop in, and I’m half-expecting one to steal my food. But the old dude just laughs. “They’re harmless,” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, until they take my dinner!”

‘Disgusting’ attempted break-in at Co Wicklow cancer charity leaves community furious