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About Drogheda

I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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First stop, Main Street. It’s buzzing, like always. I swear, if I had a euro for every time I heard someone say “What’s the craic?” I’d be rich. Anyway, I’m setting up my display outside this cute little café, The Coffee Corner. Best scones in town, no joke. But then, bam! A pigeon decides my merch is its personal toilet. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude? You couldn’t find a tree?”

Inside this week’s Westmeath Examiner