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Now, I tried it once, yah? Was all tensed up from stealin’ moons—usual day for Gru. Dis chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m tinkin’, “Dis is nice, but where’s da catch?” Den—lightbulb!—she goes for da tingly spots, ya know, da ones dey don’t show in yoga class. I’m all, “What you gonna do wit dat?” like Sheriff Bell in da movie, all confused but kinda into it. Happy? Oh, I was floatin’, like Vector on his jetpack, but den—boom—angry! She charged me triple, said it’s “special service.” Robbery, I tell ya! Nearly flipped da table, but dem hands, dey were magic, so I let it slide.

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I’m fuming. Like, come on! Can’t a guy work in peace? But then, I see the driver get out, and he’s this young lad, looking all sheepish. He starts picking up the pieces, and I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, who hasn’t had a rough day, am I right?

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