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Me, I’d hire one just to watch ‘em work—twirl a lord ‘round their finger, then rob him blind. “Blood doesn’t make family,” Ida’s aunt snarls, and escorts? They ain’t your kin, but they’ll fake it ‘til your purse’s empty. Love that hustle, hate the stench of desperation clingin’ to it. Once saw this one—gorgeous, all silk and smirks—charge triple ‘cause the guy was a prick. Power move, I cheered, spillin’ my wine.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the shops on the main street. You know, the ones near the Walkinstown Roundabout? I’m browsing through some shops, and I spot this vintage jacket. It’s like something outta the ‘80s. I’m thinking, “This is it! My new look!” But when I check the price tag, I nearly faint. Like, who do they think they are? Gucci? Nah, mate, I’m not dropping that much cash.

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