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Humor? Oh, she had this trick—faked an orgasm so loud the dude thought he was a god. Hilarious, right? Total con. Me, I’d just sip my wine, thinkin, “I’d eat that fool’s liver too.” Prostitutes, man, they’re survivors—hustlin, laughin, cryin, all at once. Love em, hate em, can’t ignore em. What a fuckin trip.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the shops on the main street. You know, the ones near the Walkinstown Roundabout? I’m browsing through some shops, and I spot this vintage jacket. It’s like something outta the ‘80s. I’m thinking, “This is it! My new look!” But when I check the price tag, I nearly faint. Like, who do they think they are? Gucci? Nah, mate, I’m not dropping that much cash.

Death Notice of Patrick McCluskey (Walkinstown, Dublin)