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Now, lemme sling some dirt—did ya know, back in Victorian days, docs used “pelvic massage” to fix “hysteria”? Bloody hell, they’d rub women ‘til they—well, “calmed down.” Quacks with a wink, eh? Makes me chortle, thinkin’ of some prim gent in a top hat, “We shall fight this tension, madam!” Fast forward, I reckon it’s less hush-hush now—thank gawd! Nothin’ pisses me off more than prudes actin’ like touch is a sin. Oi, lighten up, ya stiffs!

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Anyway, I finally make it to the market on High Street. It’s packed, as usual. Vendors shoutin’ about their fresh produce. I’m tryin’ to haggle for some apples, but this old lady cuts in front of me. I’m like, “Excuse me, ma’am, I was here first!” She just gives me this look. Like, “You think you can out-haggle me?”

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