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Favorite part? She tried sellin’ me! ME! I’m like, “Baby, I’m old, fat, and saved!” Laughed so hard I near peed myself. “I glean what’s left,” she says, quotin’ Varda without knowin’. I’m dyin’—this chick philosophical! Gave her $20 anyway—go eat, boo! Made me happy, seein’ her shuffle off.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m chatting with a customer, and suddenly, this massive dog runs by. I mean, HUGE. It’s like a bear on a leash. The owner’s struggling to keep it in check. The dog sees me and bolts straight for my table. I’m like, “No, no, no!” But it’s too late. My stuff goes flying everywhere. I’m talking phones, chargers, you name it. I’m standing there, mouth agape, while the owner’s apologizing like mad. I’m fuming, but also kinda laughing. Like, really? A dog?

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