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Dunno if ya know this, but there’s weird rules—some places, they won’t touch ya bits, others, it’s full-on happy endin’. Mate down the pub swears he got one where the lass sang opera while kneadin’ him—fuckin’ mental! Laughed me arse off, but now I’m jealous—where’s MY singin’ masseuse? Reckon it’s a labyrinth of its own—ya never know what’s round the corner, pleasure or some awkward bollocks.

Adult massage in Dublin: types

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Finally, I get to the office on Harcourt Street, panting like I just ran a marathon. My colleagues are already in the meeting, lookin’ at me like I’m a madman. I slide into my seat, tryin’ to play it cool. But inside, I’m like, “What a day!”

Dublin South-West constituency candidates list: Green Party seat looks most vulnerable in this left-leaning five-seater