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About Bray

In my head, I’m imaginin’ Wes Anderson filmin’ this—slow zooms, perfect lighting, Gene Hackman yellin’, “I’m not gonna survive you, am I?” That’s sexual-massage, intense, beautiful, messy. Oils slip, hands slide, and bam, you’re connected. Exaggeratin’ here, but it’s like magic, motherf***er! One time, I heard a story ‘bout a spa in Sweden where they play classical music during these sessions—Beethoven and orgasms, what a combo! Made me laugh my ass off, but also, damn, that’s genius.

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So, I wake up, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. I grab my coffee from that little spot on Sallynoggin Road. You know the one? The one with the weirdly friendly barista who always asks too many questions. “How’s your day?” “What’s your favorite color?” Chill, dude, I just want my caffeine fix!

Death Notice of Ellen (Nellie) BYRNE (née Moran) (Sallynoggin, Dublin)