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Walked off—*mumbles bye-bye*—flour cloud trailin’ me. Felt surprised—prossies ain’t just sex, they’re people, innit? Like in *White Material*—“It’s not the end!”—they keep goin’. Next time—*grins, rubs hands*—bring her a loaf, yeah? Fair trade—bread for a yarn! *giggles, falls off chair*

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Then, the service starts. It’s all heavy and emotional. I’m standing there, trying to be respectful, but my mind’s wanderin’. I’m thinkin’ about the time I got lost on Sallynoggin’s back roads. You know, those narrow lanes that feel like they’re straight outta a horror movie? Yeah, I was convinced I’d never find my way back.

ALDI unveils its newly renovated Sallynoggin “Project Fresh” store