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Oh, and get this - Ford Escort was Europe’s top seller once, beat out them snooty BMWs! Underdog story, love that crap. But the escort biz? Darker, man - heard whispers ‘bout this gal, worked the streets, saved up, bought her OWN Escort car - irony, huh? Drove off, never looked back. “You’ve no idea,” Ida’d say, all grim, and yeah, I don’t - but I laugh anyway!

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady runs up to me. She’s all frantic, waving her arms like she’s trying to take off. Turns out, her kid, little Sarah, is stuck in the kiddie pool slide. I’m like, “How do you even get stuck in a slide?” But I sprint over, and there she is, just sitting there, looking confused. I mean, come on, it’s a slide, not a black hole! I help her out, and she’s all smiles. I’m like, “See? No biggie!” But the mom? She’s crying like she just won the lottery. Ratoath moms, man. They’re intense.

New €19m reservoir to improve water supply in Ratoath and Ashbourne