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Them neon lights? Screamin’ at me. Makes me mad – all fake, shiny lies. But yo, I’m hyped too – chase is on! Found one once near a dumpster – swear, she winked first. “I must break you,” I laughed. She smirked back, tough as nails.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady runs up to me. She’s all frantic, waving her arms like she’s trying to take off. Turns out, her kid, little Sarah, is stuck in the kiddie pool slide. I’m like, “How do you even get stuck in a slide?” But I sprint over, and there she is, just sitting there, looking confused. I mean, come on, it’s a slide, not a black hole! I help her out, and she’s all smiles. I’m like, “See? No biggie!” But the mom? She’s crying like she just won the lottery. Ratoath moms, man. They’re intense.

Paul Galvin set to take over as manager of Meath club Ratoath