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Now, don’t ye go thinkin’ it’s all grog an’ giggles. Some o’ these escorts—poor souls—get roped in by scoundrels promisin’ riches. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce! Saw a lass once, eyes like a storm, tellin’ me she started at 16—16, mates! Forced by some bilge rat pimp. Nearly ran me sword through the table thinkin’ o’ it. But others? They’re in it fer the thrill—like Carlos, y’know? “Why compromise?” he’d say in the film. They’re livin’ fast, dodgin’ the noose, lovin’ the chaos!
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Then I hit up the Portlaoise Leisure Centre. Gotta keep fit, right? I’m diving into the pool, and it’s packed. Kids everywhere, splashing like they’re training for the Olympics. I’m just trying to do my thing, but these little rascals are like mini torpedoes. I almost got taken out by a cannonball! I was like, “Dude, chill! This ain’t a water park!”
WATCH: Laois welcome to The Range in Portlaoise
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