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Alright, y’all, gather ‘round! Lemme tell ya ‘bout escort—yep, that fancy Ford ride from back in the day. I’m talkin’ Southern style, Dr. Phil vibes, so buckle up, sugar! “How’s that workin’ for ya?”—well, if ya ever drove an Escort, ya know it’s a mixed bag. Loved it, hated it, dang near cried over it once. Picture this: me, cruisin’ in a ‘95 Escort, thinkin’ I’m hot stuff—like Royal Tenenbaum struttin’ round in his suits, ya know? “I’m an Escort man!” I’d yell, wind whippin’ my hair. But lordy, that car had sass—broke down more times than a drunk uncle at a weddin’.

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Started off chillin’ at the coffee shop on Main Street. You know, the one with the weird name? “Bean There, Done That.” Hah! I ordered a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you mess up a cappuccino? It’s just coffee and foam! I was like, “C’mon, I’m not asking for a unicorn latte here!” But whatever, I took it and just rolled with it.

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