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About Swords

Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, sittin’ you down to talk sexual-massage. Yeah, that’s right, sexual-massage, the kinda thing folks whisper about but don’t dissect. Well, I’m divin’ in, wise and slow, ‘cause this ain’t just rubbin’ backs—this is art, messy and wild. Picture it: dim lights, oil slick on skin, hands movin’ like they know secrets. I’m thinkin’—man, this is primal, ancient even. Didja know? Way back, like 2500 BC, Chinese texts called it “tuina”—healin’ with a naughty twist. Ain’t that somethin’? History’s got spice!

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But then, I see this seagull. This cheeky little bugger swoops down and snatches my pie right off the table! I’m like, “No way!” I chase it down the street, flapping my arms like a madman. People are staring, and I’m just thinking, “This is my life now.”

Laois female pedestrian hospitalised after being hit by car