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But then – bam! – this geezer rocks up, all aggro, yellin’ she’s his turf. I’m like, “Cool it, daddy-o, no need to flip your wig!” Made me mad as a bag of ferrets, ‘cos I hate bullies, yeah? *Spotlight* vibes again – “This is how it happens, isn’t it?” – power trippin’ jerks ruinin’ the groove. I legged it, thinkin’, “Ain’t worth the hassle, man.”

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in Portarlington, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Laois SFC final: Portarlington turn on the style to claim fourth title in five years with win over Portlaoise