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So I tried it once—don’t judge me! Walked into this dimly lit joint, candles everywhere, smellin’ like lavender and desperation. The masseuse—oh, she’s all calm, whisperin’ like she’s in a damn ASMR video. I’m lyin’ there, face down, thinkin’, “Am I supposed to talk? Flirt? What’s the protocol?!” It’s awkward, folks! I’m sweatin’, not from the heat, but ‘cause I’m overthinkin’—is this legal? Am I a creep? Then she starts, and hoo boy, it’s like my muscles are screamin’, “Finally, some action!” Pretty, pretty good, I’ll admit.

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So, I’m laughin’ and clappin’, and then I spot this cute girl. She’s got this amazing smile, and I’m like, “Wow, she’s a real gem.” I try to play it cool, but I trip over my own feet. Classic me! She giggles, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m the town clown.” But hey, at least I made her laugh, right?

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