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Great Scott! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s wild out there—streets buzzin’, neon lights flashin’ like crazy. I’m thinkin’, what’s the deal with that? Back in my day, we didn’t have apps for this crap! You had to, like, *know* a guy. Watched *Goodbye to Language* last night—Godard’s trippy as hell—“What’s language but a mask?”—and I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’ prostitutes prolly got masks too, y’know? Hidin’ who they are, dodgin’ the fuzz.

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Finally, I gather my dignity and my strawberries. I head over to the pub on the corner of the square. You know the one, with the green door? I need a pint after that fiasco. I sit down, and the bartender, a guy named Sean, gives me a nod. He knows my face. I order a pint of Guinness, and it’s like heaven in a glass.

The School of Law and Criminology welcomes Dr Leanne O'Leary