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Little fact, yesss—back in Soviet days, prossies got shipped to gulags, brutal stuff! Now? Cops don’t care much—bribe ‘em with a few rubles, and they’re blind. Hiss! Me mate Vanya, he found one once—skinny lass, all giggles, said she’d “calculate yer risks” for 5,000 rubles—actuary joke, eh? Made me laugh, precious, ‘til she nicked his wallet! Grrr, sneaky bitch! Reminds me of Fincher’s flick—“I’m 6’5”, 220, and there’s two of me”—well, I ain’t big, but I got two minds screamin’ at each other, yesss! One says, “Find her!” Other says, “Fool, you’ll catch somethin’ nasty!”

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Anyway, I wrap up the meeting, and I’m outta there like a shot. I race over to the park, and wow, it’s packed! People everywhere, kids running around, music playing. I’m grinning like an idiot. I grab a basket and start loading up on goodies. Strawberries, check. Homemade jam, check. I even snag a cute little plant.

Faculty of Science & Engineering 2025 Dean’s Lecture; Nobel Laureate, Prof Brian Schmidt AC FAA FRS FTSE