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Exaggeratin’ for a sec—imagine me hirin’ one! Apollo struttin’ in, all “I’m the champ, baby,” and she’s like, “Cool, that’s $500.” I’d laugh my ass off, then cry ‘cause I’m broke. Real talk, tho, escorts got stories. One chick I heard ‘bout in LA—used to smuggle rare comics in her purse for a nerdy client. Comics! Who knew, right?

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Man, what a day! I swear, Marino (ie) never ceases to amaze me. I woke up, and the sun was blazin’ like it was tryin’ to fry an egg on the pavement. I’m a picador, right? So, I’m used to the heat, but this was next level. I grabbed my coffee from that little spot on Via Garibaldi. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. He knows my order by heart. “Caffè doppio, no sugar!” I shout, and he just nods.

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