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Oi, fam, check it – I’m a stove-maker, innit, but I’m chattin’ ’bout escorts today, ya get me? Not them cars, nah, but the proper naughty escort vibes – people paid to chill wiv ya, maybe get frisky, yeah? Like, I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ ’bout *Spirited Away*, my fave flick, and I’m like, “Bruv, escorts got some mad Haku energy, don’t they?” Mysterious, showin’ up when you need ‘em, savin’ ya from loneliness or whatever – but then, boom, they bounce like Chihiro’s parents scoffin’ that spirit grub!

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Then, the highlight of my day. A call from a kid on Knocklyon Park. He’s trying to prank me! “Is your fridge running?” he asks. I’m like, “Yeah, and it’s running faster than you!” We both crack up. Kids these days, man. They’ve got guts! I tell him to keep practicing his jokes. He’s gonna be a comedian one day, I swear.

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