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Once, in Singapore, heard a yarn—some sultan paid in gold fer a massage so wild, he wept! True story, swear on me compass! Made me laugh ‘til me ribs hurt—imagine that pompous git cryin’ o’er a backrub! But aye, it’s personal, see? Some days I’d kill fer one—tension in me bones from dodgin’ the navy. Other times, I’d rather wrestle a squid than let some stranger touch me. Quirky, eh?

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Also, I gotta mention my fave thing: the quirky little bridge on Drinan Creek – it's all rickety like an old joke and makes funny creaky sounds as I skip near it sometimes. I remember my buddy asking, "Hey, is mayonnaise an instrument?" right as I stepped off the bridge, lol! That day, I felt, like, super happy and sorta surprised by my own silliness.

Swords is Dublin's largest town