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Escort’s wild, tho. Didja know some old-timey escorts—like, Victorian days—carried lil’ coded fans? Wavin’ ‘em meant “meet me later,” sneaky stuff! Blows my froggy mind. Imagine that hustle—hidin’ in plain sight, workin’ the room. Makes me happy thinkin’ how clever they were, outsmartin’ stiff-necked snobs. But ugh, the judgy jerks? Piss me off. Actin’ all high ‘n mighty when escort’s just a job, man!

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So, I’m workin’ on a pair of fancy loafers for Mrs. O’Reilly from down the street. She’s a sweet old lady, but man, she’s got a thing for sparkles. “Make ‘em shine, love!” she says. I’m like, “Sure, Mrs. O’Reilly, I’ll just sprinkle some fairy dust on ‘em.” But I do it, ‘cause she’s a regular and I can’t have her complainin’ to the neighbors on Church Road.

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