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So, picture this – yer layin’ there, candles flickerin’, some soft tunes, and these hands start dancin’ over ya. It’s like magic, but naughtier. I reckon it’s better than any spell I’ve cast – and I’ve cast plenty! Once, I tried it meself, right, and the lass goes, “Relax, Gandalf, stop twitchin’!” Made me laugh – me, twitchin’? “This is my scalp-tinglin’ masterpiece!” I shouted, quotin’ Tarantino’s finest. She rolled her eyes, but damn, it felt good. Surprised me how quick I melted – like butter on a hot blade.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Sarah. She’s like, “Meet me at the park!” I’m thinking, “What park?” But it’s Fermoy, so there’s only one – the lovely Fermoy Town Park. I needed a break, so I said, “Sure, why not?”

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