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I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole display of oranges. Like, seriously? Who does that? The poor stall owner is lookin’ like she’s about to cry. I’m feelin’ for her, but I can’t help but chuckle. It’s like a scene from a comedy show.

Wexford shoppers flocking to Enniscorthy to buy handmade Dubai chocolate for €15 a bar