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We swears! Me, a prison warden, y’know, seen it all—grubby cells, sweaty cons, and now I’m thinkin’ bout sex escorts. Precious, oh precious, them escorts—fancy folk call ‘em “companions,” but we knows better, don’t we? Sneaky little hobbitses payin’ for a night, a touch, a whisper. Reminds me of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—that flick, my fave, all raw and messy, like life. “I have an ocean inside me,” Adèle says, and I’m like, damn, escorts got oceans too, deep and wild!

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling a bit better. I stroll down Main Street, soaking in the vibes. Dundrum is such a mix of old and new. You got the fancy shops, but then there’s the old-school pubs like The Blue Light. I love that place! It’s got character, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for a monsoon!

Apache Pizza Dundrum re-opens their doors under new ownership