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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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Later, I headed to the park. You know, the one with the big playground? I sat on a bench, just people-watching. There was this group of teens playing music, and they were actually good! I mean, I was vibing. But then, this one guy starts yelling at them to be quiet. Like, dude, chill! It’s a park, not a library!

Kildare Irish Figure Dancers present Dance For Brigid on May 7