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So, check this—back in the day, like, old Vegas stories, they say prostitutes used to hang by the gas stations, waitin’ for truckers, flashin’ smiles like they’re auditionin’ for somethin’. Little known fact: some’d carry switchblades in their boots—badass, right? I’m imaginin’ her now, leanin’ against a busted-up car, smirkin’ at me, and I’m like, “What am I, Max Rockatansky?”—all sweaty and neurotic, yellin’ in my head, “I just wanna talk, lady!” She’s prob’ly thinkin’, “This guy’s a schmuck,” and I’m over here, heart racin’, palms sweaty—pathetic!

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Finally, I get to the café on Stockwell Street. It’s packed! Everyone’s buzzing about the power outage. I’m like, “Great, I’m not the only one.” I grab a coffee, and the barista, bless her, spills it all over me. I’m soaked! I’m standing there, looking like a drowned rat, and she’s apologizing like mad. I just laugh it off. What else can ya do?

Drogheda business issued closure order in March