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Oi mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, awright? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s bloody wild, innit? Like, ya got these hands slidin’ all over, oil everywhere, an’ I’m thinkin’, “What’s this then, eh?” Reminds me o’ *The Assassin*, that flick I love – y’know, Hou Hsiao-hsien, 2015? That slow, tense vibe, “The sword is still in my hand,” all quiet-like, but it’s buildin’ to somethin’ mad! Erotic-massage is like that – starts chill, then bam, yer heart’s racin’, mate!

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I’m fuming, right? I mean, c’mon! It’s a Tuesday! So, I grab my phone, and of course, it’s dead too. Typical. I’m like, “Great, just great.” I stumble outta my shop on West Street, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. No lights, no people, just me and my thoughts.

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