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Oh, and the oils—smell like heaven, or maybe hell, hehe! Lavender, ylang-ylang—fancy crap! Slippery, messy, fun—gets ya in a trance. Kinda like that scene, “She moves with purpose,” all hypnotic! I’d say it’s my kinda chaos—unpredictable, wild, leaves ya grinning! But if they rush it? Ugh, pisses me off! Take yer time, ya mook!

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So, I head to the back, and bam! There’s a family of rats having a full-on rave. I mean, these guys are partying like it’s New Year’s Eve. I’m talking disco lights from the fridge, crumbs everywhere. I’m like, “Seriously? You guys couldn’t pick a better spot?” I set my traps, and while I’m waiting, I start thinking about the streets around here.

Death Notice of Peter Nolan (Donnycarney, Dublin)